Writing a Eulogy that Heals: 5 Keys to Honoring Life and Pointing to Hope

When someone we love passes away, words can feel inadequate. And yet, in the sacred space of a homegoing service or funeral, we are often called to speak. Whether you’re a minister, family member, or close friend, delivering a eulogy is both an honor and a responsibility.

A well-crafted eulogy doesn’t just reflect on a life—it comforts the living. It doesn’t just speak of the past—it points toward eternal hope. After years of delivering eulogies and equipping others to do the same, I’ve learned that healing can begin with what we say in those moments of remembrance.

Here are five powerful principles for writing a eulogy that heals:

1. Remember the Person, Not Just the Timeline

A eulogy isn’t a résumé or obituary—it’s a reflection. Go beyond dates and titles. What made this person laugh? What did they love? What legacy do they leave behind? Share stories, values, and character traits that capture their essence. This makes your words personal, memorable, and heartfelt.

“Her kindness wasn’t loud, but it was unforgettable. She was the person who noticed when others were overlooked.”

2. Speak to the Heart of the Grieving

A eulogy is not only about the one who passed—it’s also for the ones left behind. Think about what their spouse, children, friends, or church family need to hear. Speak truth with tenderness. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge the pain of loss, but remind listeners they’re not alone.

3. Point to the Source of Hope

For those of us who believe in Jesus Christ, death is not the end—it’s a transition. Use Scripture wisely and reverently to lift the hearts of the mourners. A powerful eulogy gently guides listeners to the comfort of God’s promises without sounding preachy or forced.

“To be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord. Today, we grieve, but we do not grieve without hope.”

4. Keep It Authentic and Concise

Eulogies don’t need to be long to be powerful. Be clear. Be genuine. Be Spirit-led. Avoid exaggeration or over-spiritualizing. Your job is not to perform, but to serve. Let love and reverence guide your tone.

5. End with a Blessing or Charge

Close your eulogy with something the person would’ve wanted others to carry forward—a value, a tradition, a phrase they always said. Then speak a blessing or prayer over those gathered. This moment plants seeds of comfort and continuity in the midst of grief.

“May we carry her strength into our own lives. May we love like she loved. And may God comfort us as only He can.”

Final Thoughts

Writing a eulogy is sacred work. It’s an opportunity to honor a life and introduce healing through words that uplift, unify, and point heavenward.

If you’re a minister or leader who frequently delivers eulogies—or you feel called to support families during their time of grief—my book, Healer of A Broken Heart: A Minister’s Guide to Eulogies, was written with you in mind. It includes sample eulogies, prayers, and spiritual tools to help you minister with confidence and compassion.

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~Rev. Nichole L. Edness